Hot Seat Report
Every year around this time NFL fans and bettors begin to focus on the 15-20 teams that still have a realistic chance of qualifying for the postseason. “Big” games become even bigger, and games like this week’s Giants/Titans showdown sink to near-preseason levels of irrelevance. However, those “lesser” games still carry tremendous significance for those involved, particularly coaching staffs who may be headed for the unemployment line if things don’t turn around quickly. Some sadistic NFL fans (ahem, me) find that following teams whose coaches are on the proverbial “hot seat” can be even more entertaining than following the contenders, what with the self-pitying press conferences, fan/media derision, and endless speculation about who the next coach is going to be.
So it’s time for our annual Hot Seat Report, where we take a look at coaches around the league who may need to start sending out resumes. Some seats are “hotter” than others, of course, so we’ve decided to use a rating system that every red-blooded football fan will be able to grasp: we’ve ranked ’em from Chaz Bono (job totally secure– think Bill Belichick) to Kate Upton (smoking hot– we’re looking at you, Rex). Notably absent from this list are the coaches of the Raiders, Jaguars, and Buccaneers, three teams whose combined record is 5-31. Oakland already fired their coach– Dennis Allen got the ax after the team’s blowout loss in London in Week 4, and Tony Sparano is officially an “interim” coach, so I’m not sure he qualifies as a hot seat candidate. Jacksonville’s Gus Bradley is in his second year and the team seems set on giving him at least one more, and Tampa’s Lovie Smith is in his first season with the team. It’s been a disappointing year for Smith’s Bucs, but he’s safe for now. Others, though, are not so lucky. Here’s a look at the men who may be contacting their realtors soon:
*coaches listed in alphabetical order
Jay Gruden, Washington Redskins
Temperature: Tina Fey. Not particularly hot, but Redskins owner Daniel Snyder is famous for his beer goggles.
This is Gruden’s first year in Washington, so it would be somewhat surprising and probably a bit unfair if he were fired, but this is Dan Snyder we’re talking about here, the man who is now on his 8th head coach in 15 years of owning the team. Gruden has publicly criticized franchise quarterback Robert Griffin III in recent weeks, leading many observers to speculate about RGIII’s future with the team. However, if Snyder thinks that Griffin is more valuable to the franchise than Gruden he could side with the star QB and send the coach packing. After all, the Redskins are 3-9 and Gruden’s offense hasn’t been particularly effective regardless of which quarterback has been under center (there have been 3). He’s probably safe for now, but if the team continues to regress and the dysfunction worsens, you never know…
Marc Trestman, Chicago Bears
Temperature: Renee Zellweger. Was kinda/sorta hot once upon a time (I guess), but recent “modifications” (in Trestman’s case, wins) have made things even less hot.
Trestman’s job status was a trendy topic three weeks ago, when the Bears were free-falling down the standings and out of the playoff race, in the process becoming the first team since the 1923 Rochester Jeffersons to allow 50+ points in consecutive games. However, back-to-back wins in weeks 11 and 12 quieted that talk somewhat, and there now seems to be a general consensus that Trestman will get at least one more year. After all, this is just his second season and his first was relatively successful, exceeding (most) expectations. The Bears were expected to contend for the playoffs this year but that’s clearly not happening, which is why Trestman has come under fire. He’ll probably survive, but considering his future is tied to Jay Cutler, he may want to stick with a rental property.
Mike Smith, Atlanta Falcons
Temperature: Kim Basinger. Not nearly as hot as it once was, but still undeniably hot.
Mike Smith’s Falcons are currently leading their division and would host a playoff game if the season ended today. So, clearly, he’s in control of his future: if the Falcons keep winning, there’s no way Smith gets fired. That’s more than some coaches on this list can say. However, a month ago Smith’s eventual firing was considered a near-certainty and his Hot Seat Rating was closer to Scarlett Johansson than Kim Basinger, and Smith is a couple of losses away from returning to Ms. Johansson’s bedside. The Falcons have been tremendously disappointing this season, as they were last season. Untimely injuries have played a major role, no doubt, but Smith is a defensive guy and the Falcons rank last in the league in yards allowed. It’s tough to sugarcoat that. Barring a division title and a trip to the playoffs– something that could definitely happen, as they are tied for first in the dreadful NFC South– I don’t think Smith will be in Atlanta next year.
Rex Ryan, New York Jets
Temperature: Brooklyn Decker. Uhhh….yeah. Hot.
Watching Rex Ryan take the podium after each and every nauseating loss would be funny if it weren’t so sad. Contrast the images these days– the broken man with his head hung low, muttering the same self-pitying, “why is this happening to us” chorus– with what we saw a few years ago, when a swaggering Rex would call out his division rivals and joke about eating cheeseburgers. Whatever surgery he had that made him lose all that weight certainly worked (he looks less like Jabba the Hutt now, anyway), but it’s almost as if it took a piece of his personality, as well. At any rate, the “new” Rex will undoubtedly find a cushy television job next year, where his ability to fart the alphabet will be just as relevant as his ability to coach defense.
Ron Rivera, Carolina Panthers
Temperature: Nina Agdal. If you’ve never heard the name, well, you’re one Google search away from realizing that Ron Rivera is in serious trouble.
The Panthers won the NFC South last year with a devastating defense, a quality running game, and some timely quarterback play, but changes in the secondary and on the offensive line have proven disastrous and they’ve won just 3 of their 12 games this season. Rivera, whose job seemed totally safe prior to the season, has been under intense scrutiny in recent weeks because the team is clearly regressing. That’s the thing: the Panthers are falling apart, having lost 6 straight games in ugly fashion. Rivera seemingly has no idea what to do– the ship is sinking and its clueless captain can’t plug the leaks. Incredibly Carolina is still just a game-and-a-half out of first in the NFC South, but they’re totally inept on both sides of the ball and simply can’t buy a win. A double-digit ‘dog in New Orleans this week, it would be a surprise if the Panthers were able to win another game this season, frankly. Rivera won’t survive this.
Tom Coughlin, New York Giants
Temperature: Kardashians (take your pick). I don’t think it should be considered hot, and some are repulsed at the idea of it being hot, but others think it’s really, really hot.
If two Super Bowl wins can’t buy you job security, then what can? Is Bill Belichick two 6-10 seasons away from being unemployed? Many view the Coughlin situation this way, and rightfully so– he’s presided over a tremendously successful era of New York Giants football that has seen the team make the playoffs 5 times and win the Super Bowl twice. Still, it’s difficult to view the team’s current situation in a positive light. They have a veteran roster led by the franchise quarterback (and Coughlin himself, of course), yet they’re 3-9 and have lost 7 consecutive games. This will be the third straight year that the Giants have missed the playoffs and this team may be the worst of the Coughlin era, so things obviously aren’t trending in the right direction. It may sound like sacrilege to some, but Tom Coughlin could be coaching for his job over these next 4 weeks.
